`man_______

2009-01-30T02:02:00.004+08:00

bwah. so happy ive received my new laptop xD

now everything's running faster, brighter and bigger ! so happy (:

chinese new year is here. i realise the amount of ang bao i receive gets lesser as i grow older =x
but its okay. i never really saw cny as the time for ang baos =/ but i did see it as the time where i could eat pineapple tarts and prawn rolls ~

school alr one month le. yet i still feel as if i dint really go school . . .typical me (:

im busy busy. but things will settle down very sooooon.

i miss shrimpy a lot a lot ):
shtupid shrimp and his field camp. bwahhh

2009-01-13T00:02:00.002+08:00

its new year and i've just started my second sem at ntu.

i hate the modules that im taking now and i really wish this sem will quickly passssss.

my exam results were okay. they could have been a lot better if i studied DURING the semester

both shrimp and don are in the same camp again xD yay. which makes picking them up a lot easier and faster

i hope they both get posted to the same unit again =X i very lazy to go two places =x

bwah. its the 21st year this year. time for changesssssssssssss im getting oldd sob sob

-amanda

2008-11-25T02:21:00.002+08:00

EepyBird's Sticky Note experiment from Eepybird on Vimeo.

the above video is a tad old but its soo colorful and fun ! xD

exams are over ! and finally my first sem at ntu is o v e r !

i dunno how the sem results are coming out :x but its in end of dec so nvm.

but registration for next sem modules is next week only ! more hectic clicking and camping at the com for the modules that i want.

this sem marks the first time i actually studied ! and it feels really odd. but super tiring ! ):

i hope my marks reflect the effort if not i think i dont study at all ba :x

about two weeks to go to POP ! then don and shrimpy are freeee !

and its odd how i actually have pri sch friends who shrimpy turns out to know too through bmt :x but then again it shldnt be too far a coincidence seeing as our birthyears are all the same.

anyway ! ive decided to load more modules next semester so that i can graduate even earlier (i hope so) and so ive decided to take classes that stretch to the 830pm timebelt. but the problem is . . . those lectures are 3 hrs long ! ive never really had a 3 hr lecture before (3 hr practical /lablesson yes have) so im . . hoping i dont fall asleep (i can fall aslp in 1hr lecture though :/ soooo..... oh dear :/)

ive gained weight successfullly ! although now i'm too heavy! but xmas coming that means i eat more more more ! so i'll probably hit . ... very heavy once the new year comes ): so sad !

bwah. i feel like going out buy lots of things ! but im not going to cause i'm
a) very lazy to go out
b) saving to go overseas (pending shrimpy's block leave ): )
c) must save mah :x

im really bored now since its the hols (but im completing the other degree work! 2 more modules to go and i graduate le !)

any body can send me gamess ? or something :x i really v.bored.
pls dont intro taiwan drama or korean drama. i no patience to sit through leh :x

i miss you shrimpy ): faster book out xD

2008-11-01T02:24:00.004+08:00

school's ending alr ! so fast one sem is ending . . .

which means exams are nearing

and im no where nearer to that feeling of 'ive learnt something in sch'. 13 weeks of school liao and i still feel lost -.-

i messed up my cultural studies tutorial presentation somehow

and i mucked up one of my other module essays

my mid-term exams and quizzes have gone down the train

and im kissing my first class honors goodbye

i scared there'll be a repeat of what happened in sec 2

when i kept pushing myself and got so paranoid about getting no.1

that i broke down and refused to do work

yet i have that . . .semblance of a feeling again

i really hope i can buck up and do well

it hurts to feel so dumb.

shrimpy's in field camp now and so i'll only see him another week later. i miss him a lot ):

my annoying brother's back though and he's terrorising my room.

the white cat had 3 little kitties of which subsequently 2 passed away ): now left one very feisty curious naughty

kitty BUT HE'S VERY CUTE :X

see! EYES ROUND AND BLUEEEEEEEEE

and he's nice and round. like a gigantic fishball. he looks super cute when he's running around because he has uncoordinated limbs. :x

i hope life turns for the better

and that i start feeling happpppier.

sigh ):

i miss u dear.

-amanda

2008-10-23T21:41:00.003+08:00

its the end of week 12 which means exams are in a month.
ive assignments due but i cant bring myself to complete any or even start most of them
because ive been feeling very down lately.

it COULD be cause ive been reading a lot of books lately about tortured childhoods (related to psych) which has left me depressed and thinking about how the world functions and of social work lately.

i dont know what i want to do when i graduate but i know it'll be people-related.

its week 6 since both don and shrimp entered NS and don's at field camp now.

sigh ):

i happened to chance upon knowing that most of my pri sch friends made it to jc and have all subsequently made it into uni studying 'prestigious, grand, smart-smart' stuff

which has left me feeling dumb again.

sigh.

! ! !

2008-10-16T00:49:00.002+08:00

kimba passed away ): meowmeow has a reallllly bad injury. the white cat is in heat. the 3 dumdums keep running around. the kitten is doing the desert crawl !

its week 11 in school now. i have a 2ndmid-term exam later. i just met mel for dinner.
shrimp said he'd call but he didnt ):
but he's booking out early (: as compared to my dumbdumb brother who got himself confined because of smoking and will now only book out on sunday . . .and book back in the same day LOL

i was reading a lot of army stories online. and realised that a lot of ppl really die in the course of NS which made me really worried for shrimpy and don ):

i need to change phone soon (anyone wan to buy me one xD) cause the 4 and 6 keys are only responding . . . 2/10 of the time.

a girl who lives upstairs (as in my hdb blockkkkk) is getting married next year. she already ROM-ed already. her husband is eh.... 5 or was it 7? years her senior.
but the thing is . . . .
she's
19 :x
she's apparently sick n tired and feels that she cant study on anymore and her greatest wish and desire is to just get married and settle down so she chose this path. it wasnt due to pregnancy or anything like that.

sheesh o.o

does any one have the vcd or dvd of THELMA and LOUISE? i need to review it for cultural studies class but i dont have a copy ):
could anyone who is in possession of one lend it to me pleaseee ? (:

feeeling quite moody now cause my mom said i was fat ):
but its a darned thing!

i went to try to donate blood with my unifriend at uni the other day but end up cannot donate cause my vein too small :x
but anyway. so i stepped on the weighing scale and was found to be significantly heavier.

but when i just weighed at home. i weigh 2 kg lighter than that reading !
and its not cause i starved the whole day or what okay!
i ate a sandwich in the morning today, followed by cornflakes in the afternoon, then headed to TCC for dinner with mel where i ate prawn+cheese toast and clam spaghetti and when i came home ate a subway 6-incher.
and yesterday for dinner i ate 3 lobster roll, 3 tuna roll, 1 sashimi set, 1 tempura moriawase

so i dint diet but i weight lighter ! i check for zero error + parallax error! no errorrrrr !!!!

so am i really THAT reading or 2kg lighter than that ?!

sigh. my mom say i fat ):

sob sob ):

sigh. nvm. shrimpy's booking out soon. i promised to bring him go eat lobster porridge (: more food xD

WHY AM I FAT OMG. i wanted to gain weight- yes! but now MY MOM SAYS IM FAT!

-amanda

2008-10-08T01:56:00.002+08:00

you know that feeling of exasperation?

its disheartening to know that even after 10 weeks of school i still feel that i know nuts about the things im studying in school . . .

with final exams 6 weeks away its like this . . . odd rushed yet calm feeling in me :/

sigh. plus im getting really moody lately ):
sigh. keep feeling that things dont go well even though they technically/practically/physically are still fine

sigh

having a test later that i dont feel like studying for cause i cant study in. (cause there are so many facts and numbers)
have work to do that i dont feel like doing cause i keep feeling like a failure

this wasnt quite what i envisioned things to be.

sigh

sadness )':

2008-10-06T22:30:00.000+08:00

i feel sad ):

sigh gloomy days.

bwah ): sob sob

2008-10-06T04:30:00.002+08:00

ahhhhhh loss of normal lumbar ledirosis (sp ?)

has been determined as the cause of my troubles. what i could get from what the doctor was saying was along the lines of my spinal column had an injury which led to the surrounding muscles to go in spasms and get constricted real tight which worsened the original injury. and so my back became abnormally straight and so cnot bend i.e. i became a literal stick figure !

but with the aid of lots of nice painkillers and awful prawnrolls (-.-)
i can bend a further 20 degrees now !

but still pain.

anyway so i MC the whole week. and now i dunno what the hell is going on in school :x counting the fact that i know next to nobody in school . . . . so . . . well. this does not bode well o.o

week 10 in school le ! (starting later. . . ) and that means its about a month and a half to exams and i feel as if ive learnt nothing !

wheee ! ^^

honestly i feel i learnt more in one module of my american degree than in one sem in NTU

(so what the hell does that mean !)

bwahh im behind in my work (as usual) . . . . and this must change !!!!!!!!

shrimpy's gone back to sunny island once again. ): and i miss him a lot !
xD
pls take care shrimpy. what with another guy deciding to say farewell to the world whilst during NS. pls show ur MO ur mc and tell him "NO. I NOT GOING TO EXERCISE !"
just 10 more weeeks and no more tekong ! ^^
i loveee you xD

im getting mooody now.. . . . . work is a nice huge backlog !

and im so dumb in ntu !

):

):

2008-10-03T02:59:00.002+08:00

sigh.

back pain worsen.

given even stronger painkillers but the pain doesnt go away at all.

i took the additional add-on painkillers and STILL the pain is there

will only know the result of x-ray tomorrow ):

sigh. very sad. shrimp dint call me tonight ): dunno he book out tomorrow or sat.

sigh. couldnt even go school cause of the pain. end up have to take mc for the rest of the week.

now i think i super behind in my studies. must self-study but no motivation

sigh

later got test so i got to go school for a while. sure pain like hell one.

walk around pain. sit down pain. lie down also pain.

super moody ):

sigh...

2008-10-02T01:57:00.002+08:00

shrimp has returned to the sunny island of tekong ! and don has booked out again !
and will book in tomorrow morning. . . cause he's muslim :X

then hopefully shrimpy can book out on friday or saturday again ^^

ive been afflicted with the worst possible back pain ever and will be seeing the doc tomorrow.
):

sigh. miss u shrimpy again !

faster come back. i wan use my necro + blood golem to punch u :x
ur amazon is nothing ! ! ! !

xD
love u.

yay shrimp coming!

2008-09-28T02:24:00.002+08:00

shrimp's coming in less than 24 hours ! he didnt call me today ): sob sob.

ahhhh hope he comes out at the time that we agreed. else i'll be alone wandering through white sands. which isnt that bad . i could shop ! and claim all the expenses as waiting fee from him ! ^^

anyway, i watched F1 the past 2 days. yes. i promptly sat in front of the tv at 10pm for the live coverage okay!

ehh it was quite fun. but i felt they like . . . drive very slowly.
although they supposedly clock 289.9km/h at the speed trap. but like . . on tv move like turtle =/

whats more. i dont know why but i like kept dozing off at the 10:45 mark. like haflway through Q3 my eyes kept threatening to shut.

i think there's some hypnotic odd calming effect with watching f1 on tv :x

hoping to watch it tomorrow though. cause tommorrow's the most important dayy !

furry head I (thats don!) is booking in tomorrow night ): so sad.
but he's booking out on tuesday morning ^^ cause he muslim LOL get to book in later and book out earlier :x

ahhhhhhh i drove today after like . . . more den a week of not driving.
ive gone back to my noob status of driving
so im hoping i dont drive aimlessly (i.e. get lost) tomorrow when i go pick shrimp up
else
else
else
else
i'll do the whole drive around singapore thing again !!!!! :x

bahh... i miss shrimp. happy that he's booking out. but no doubt. he will start 'whining' and complaining about the things inside :x RIGHT ! RIGHTTTTTTTTTT. ???
xD

surprisingly don fell aslp early the past 2 days. (so odd ! cause he was always awake with me til the 3-4am before he enlisted. ahhh the wonders of regimented life and synchronised awakenings LOL)

anxious for shrimpy's bookout :x

ahhhhhhhhhhhh hve to sleep soon. else i'll be late in fetching him (as usual :x)

I MISS U SHRIMP.

2008-09-27T01:59:00.002+08:00

don book out le !
furry head xD

this means. . . shrimpy's booking out soon too ! yay ^^
and yet another furry head to rub !

i miss you a lot and am happy that u managed to call me today (:
hopefully i wont get lost on sunday on my way there :x

my internet has been acting weird lately ): it keeps disconnecting.
i dont know if its my modem or the connection though :/

watched F1 on tv today and also drove past F1 earlier while picking don up.
nice to hear the roar of engines
nicer to see f1 drivers drive the wrong way
nicer still to see them hit the wall :x

i hope it rains soon then more fun to see LOL

ahhh. i miss you a lot ):
don's booking in at night sunday.

bwahhh. miss u. (: see u soon la la la la .

tahan 2 more days only shrimpy !

sigh.

2008-09-26T01:46:00.002+08:00

sometimes when you've think you've forgotten or when you think you're past it,

you realise that it never really left at all

and you never really forgot.

):

i'm a really petty person. although i try to appear that i'm not.
but i'm wondering how to untie this knot of grudges that i left within me. ):

2008-09-26T01:15:00.002+08:00

the white kitty gave birth to 3 adorable oh-so-cute grey kittens who havent even opened their eyes yet (like duh.)

so now all 4 are at my homeee.

the kitties so cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but now my house a bit overpopulated with kitties :x now got 9 :x

im getting more and more bored as the days go by.

shrimp didnt call me today. i wonder if its cause he thought i went out.

later don's coming out le :) and he owes me more money cause i had to top up more money into his gf's pre-paid card again -.-

shrimpy. i hope sunday u can come out (: i miss you >.< alot.

2008-09-24T23:56:00.002+08:00

bwah ha ha.

i finally finished that shtupid essay ! ^^ and i went over the wordlimit but as usual who cares!

shrimp managed to call me today using a spare phone that one of his bunk mates apparently had o.o

and apparently its very common to hear guys crying in NS. (sho cool!)
don's booking out soon which is good. (wait. bad. bad bad bad.)

but he now owes me money cause i had to top-up his gf's prepaid hp no. again.
and i think his gf just left me a comment in friendster (at least i think its his gf. im not quite sure cause i cant quite keep up his uh.. list)

im soo happy that i finally finished that essay and now i can start on social psych which is a lot more interesting and not so dry
(but the assignments are horribly long!)

shrimp i miss u alot. and ive lost alot of weight cause i dun have you around to eat with :x
and im unhappy because of that. i wan to gain weight !!!!!!!

2008-09-24T05:11:00.002+08:00

oohh shrimpy called me tonight (:
he apparently siphoned/stole/borrowed/grabbed $3dolllar (i realised thats a redundancy o.o) phonecards from two other guys and so he has more talk time now

and he apparently managed to psycho one guy to use the phone the next day

i hope he doesnt end up in durian base because of that
):

im midway through my essay now. and yes im past my deadline
but im really damn bored with this essay. its one of those topics where u just KNOW, you know. but i have to find sources and its like i already KNOW what. but i have to find websites/articles that contain the info that i know just so it looks like i learnt it from these websites/articles. bahh.

shtupid singapore-malaysia relations. ):
(i meant the topic. not the whole relations thing. i dun wan tio ISA-ed)

(and if u dunno what that means, pls read up (: [i am so mean. :x] )

u know. with the whole china recall milk thingy
my mom had to check if our fridge had any contraband stuff
fortunately
my kitkat bar
my tolberone bars
my ben&jerry's
my tim-tams
are safe. cause they are manufactured in good old
united kingdom
switzerland
united states
australia!

which led my mom to say that i eat only high quality stuff.
(but yes i knw that these countries could have gotten their milk frm china blah blah blah so i could still die anyway)

but u know ah. the whole melamine thing right
in case u dunno what is melamine
its a kind of plastic
and if u can recall ur DnT lessons in sec sch
the exampels of melamine that they always use is that of the plasitc plates and bowls like those found at your local kopitiam or chinese restaurant
u know those with the chinese swirly pattern at the edges?
yea those are melamine plates
so anyway my point was that whenever you use those plates
you will somehow scratch the base with your utensils (especially fork + knife)
right ?
then when u scratch u will scratch part of the plastic off what (if u dont believe, u go see those like really used plastic plates. the bottom always kenna scratched off what. )
then when u eat
u. put. it. in. your. mouth.
so u are also essentially eating plastic (yes i knw super small amount) what

plus u know now then AVA got off their backsides and started to use their expensive chem labs to do product testing. so all of us could have been happily consuming plastic for a while now and we just arent aware of it

so eat frm porcelain bowls/plates
and eat high class chocolate (and biscuits and ice cream)

life is so boring now ):

i miss u shrimp.

2008-09-23T21:36:00.003+08:00

gah. i woke at 3 sth cause i received a phone call frm shrimp
apparently he was in the sick bay for the last 2 days enjoying himself watching tv -.-

and he got angry with me -.-
sigh ):

his $3card no more money le. there goes 19 mins of talk time.

so he said he'll find a way to tell me the timing of his bookout

so no more phonecalls from him til thurs - fri - sat (either one of these days)

bleagh.

tomorrow heading to atm to check if my allowance is banked in so i can pay off some purchases :x
clothes ah clothes xD

i havent finished my essay and i feel really bad. (okay not really la)
sigh

sadd

oh yes. ANYONE WAN A NICE CALENDAR FEATURING LOTS OF CUTE DOGS AND ANIMALS its for charity but im giving them away freeeee ~

2008-09-23T07:42:00.002+08:00

CAN SOMEONE PLS TELL THE NEIGHBOURS NEXT NEXT DOOR (or their renovation contractors) THAT U DO NOT DO MOVING OF CONCRETE/GRAPHITE SLABS AND HACKING AT 7:41AM IN THE MORNING ?!

ive officially started on paragraph 1 of my essay! before realising that i do not know how to use the stupid endnote software that is supposedly supposed to auto-APA my essay (yes im horribly APA-not-inclined so i have to rely on it.) (im so thankful i have looney to help me APA my stuff. im terribly sorry for taking advantage of euuuu)

OH. MY MOM JUST TOLD ME. ITS NOT THE NEIGHBOURS (sorry neighbours)

ITS THE STHUPID PEOPLE FROM TOWN COUNCIL WHO ARE UP AND WANT TO CHANGE THE ELECTRICAL METERS
WHICH MEANS I HAVE NO ELECTRICITY FROM 9AM TO 230PM (WTF) (DEN MY FRIDGE HOW)

AND I JUST STARTED MY ESSAY. WHICH MEANS I CANT FINISH IT. CAUSE NO ELECTRICITY TO POWER THE INTERNET + LAPTOP

oh my god.

i totally forgot abt the whole electricity shutdown thing.
on the bright side heng i never sleep. so then i can sleep now frm 9am to whatvere time.

BUT THEY'RE GOING TO DO HACKING AND ALL THAT SHTUPID NOISY DRILLDRILL-BRR-BRR- CHING-CHING-THUD-THUD STUFF

HOW TO SLEEP LIKE THAT

oh.zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. fishcakefiddlesticks!

(sidenote: i miss u a hell lot. but u dunno :( and im wondering what is up with u :( bwahhhhh)

6-5 more days til i see u again.

OH THEY'VE STARTED HAMMERING

2008-09-23T04:06:00.002+08:00

this sucks man.

my essay is due in, like 11 hours but im still stuck here doing other stuff

simply cause i have NO / ZERO motivation

and i'm starting to blog like a retarded ah lian (yes i confess ahlians blog better than me now)
(eh. i mean no offense if you do happen to be an ahlian, a mentally-incacipitated [did i get that right?] individual. i merely meant it as a figure of speech)

which reminds me i didnt sign my graduating documents. (oh sheet.)

2008-09-23T01:46:00.002+08:00

sigh.
shtupid shrimp dint call me today >.<

but don did call me. :) he's 'enjoying' life being served in NS, what with his bed being made for him everday by one bunk mate, and him enjoying people serve him food and giving him extra food somemore .

LOL. because my brother is 'heavily tattooed' and has managed to instill fear in his section mates xD

dumdumshrimp u dont miss me anymore is it ! hmph. so sad :(

i still havent done my essay i should really get down to doing it. seeing as its due in . . . . 14 hours ?

bwaahhhh im really lazy now. bleagh

no motivation. anyone know how to increase motivation ? pls let me know !
oh oh i wanna go shopping but im really lazy to step out of the house

im supposed to go clean my car but im procrastinating even though i have like all the brushes and stuff already.

lazy me.

i miss you you dum. y u never call me . . . ? sob sob :(

-amanda

2008-09-22T00:09:00.002+08:00

oh dear. tuesday paper due i haven even start LOL. :x typical me xD

tomorrow got to go woodlands library le :(

handphone search for shrimp has resulted in me going to buy a phone to use first so that i can send my SE phone to repair. then once shrimp comes back i can use my SE while he use the new phone :)

went to bak kut teh at tanjong pagar PSA today :x
shall bring shrimp go cause i promised him to xD

miss you :( plus u dint call today wah :'( sob sob. u starting to not miss me le ah ? >.<
bleagh. hmph. shall get angry with u when u book out >.<
or til ur nxt phone call.

white kitty gave birth le. but dunno where she put her kitties :( scared she and her litter get hurt or bullied.bwah

i realise i blog very kiddish LOL nvm ^^

sad sad :( shtupid shrimp bleagh

2008-09-21T00:37:00.002+08:00

21 sept le. 7 more days to seeeee shrimpy
5 more days til i see don.

:( bwah. all i do the whole day is play msn games >.< even though i have a lot of work to do. no motivation :(

i found this website
http://homepage2.nifty.com/papercraft/n-gallery/souvenir/index.html
(okay la thats one of the links.)

its a jap artist who deals with paper worh.
and his work is r e a l l y intricate in that he really does the whole proportion - details things really well.

sigh. now sat-sun le. one more week then shrimpy come out :(

miss you. now ur hp batt mati also :( sob sob.
at least u managed to call me today ^^ albeit using ur $3-19mins phonecard LOL

ahhh. missssyouuuu. book out soon. lucky i got drive. den can meet u straight once u reach pasir ris. ^^ noneed to wait you come back xD

that is. provided i dont get lost while going there =X ^^''

ahh. shrimp wants to source a new phone.
which is a leeeetle bit hard cause now hard to find phones that have no camera but have nice long lifee

so i've narrowed it down to
- ) nokia 1650
- ) SE J132
- ) motorola w270/w230

the problem is one is old model, another is new model, another one dunno sg have or not :(
bleagh. tml shall go ask around shops le.

saddening LOL. i asking ppl online for phone advice. i getting a myriad of useless advice !
=x

nvm. wait u out then cfm with u. =x my bank acc left 1.68 ^^'' hard to buy also LOL
=x

oh yes boss. good luck for ur presentation/quiz/test/somesortoftestingmechanism on tues/thurs

theOneandOnlywanting - have fun in sunny cardiff. although i dunno why its sunny when the weather's supposed to be horrid ! =x ration ur instant noodles ah !

im missing you :( f a s t e r swim across tekong !

-amanda

after a long hiatus

2008-09-19T22:55:00.004+08:00

After a surpremely long hiatus.
I've decided to come back and declare that I'm still alive

albeit doing what I've been doing for the past 13 years.

that's right. I'm still studying.

-.- it's week 7 now at NTU. and i've made zero friends =X save for a select few individuals in HA103 (intro to public policy) that i can talk to and joke with.

other than that.

i dont know anyone =X

i realise my blurness was emphasized today when i went for MB107 (fund.of.busi.law) tutorial.
its week 7. that means so far there have been 6 tutorials.

but i only now then realised that charmaine and another west spring junior is in my class =X

and the most ironic thing is that

charmaine is from the same course as me LOL

and apparently she has been seeeing me in class but i never noticed her ! =X

goes to show that me and my whole doing things alone and not bothering to look at anyone is . . eh... still effective and active

ANYWAY MUST BLOG INTERESTING THINGS NOW

my brother and theBF has entered army

they officially enlisted about .. . . . 7 days and 5 days ago (respectively)

and are booking out . . . . . . 6 days and 8 days respectively

so i've been doing NOTHING lately.

=X go school then come back. then go school then come back. =x

BOSS (a.k.a. MEL is busy with QUIZZZZZZZZZ) then again i never see her online o.o i wonder why

eh.. theOneandOnlyWanting has jetted off for rainy london. along with her suitcase full of instant noodles AHAHAHAHAHAH

TAKE CARE AND PLEASE SAY HELLO TO THE QUEEN FOR ME =)

i realise that as i grow older and enrol myself in higher institutes of learning

my mental capacity to excel at academic schoolwork is deteriorating and uh.... im starting to produce SUPER MEDIOCRE work !

in short, i scared i cannot graduate with my first class honours :( gpa how to hit 4.5/5 ?!

oh yes. im supposed to blog about me missing theBF.

YES I DO MISS YOU AND I WORRY ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY especially since you fell sick on your second day in there and your HP batt has died today LOL

im supposed to pick you up on the night you book out but now i have no idea what time that will be

so please even though i know you wont be able to read this i hope that you have nice bunk mates who conserve their HP batt and who will so magnanimously lend you their HP to sms me your book out time so that I can pick you up.

and i hope you showered before booking out

else the smell will linger in my car
which is bad
very bad

eeeeeeyer =X

SO YES I DO MISS YOU and i will definitely knock down brannon and ben once they book out too. I LOVE YOU PLEASE TAKE CARE AND DONT GET LOST IN SUNNY TEKONG

i have a HA305 essay due on tuesday but i got 0 references LOL but my presentation went well !

oh and boss, on the off chance that you are reading this, I NEED YOUR HELP WITH APA PLEASE !

eh... i still got SOC479 and SOC401 for crim/psych due =X

OH YES MY ONE WEEK RECESS WEEK BREAKWEEK IS HERE ^^

but im using it to finish my schoolwork

oh and its only sem 1 firs thalf

but i already skip =X

5 COM201 (found.of.comm.stud) Lecture+seminar
3 MB107 (fund.of.biz.law) lecture
2 MB107 tutorial
1 HA103 (intro to pubpolicy) tutorial
1 HA305 (sg foreign policy) lecture

=X
HENG NEVER TAKE ATTENDANCE XD

ahhhhh lazy me =X

-amanda

2008-05-26T06:39:00.003+08:00

i realise that i've become very bitter deep down inside.

because i actually wish for a lot of people to just die.

i dont know when exactly i started feeling this way.
but i think things changed midway through poly.

and sort of realised that i had gone from a red in a sea of blues to a blue in a sea of reds.

which left me feeling ... odd.

and things just went from there.

i realise i'm still not happy.
and i dont know when i was last happy.

and its even harder to manage with work.
and even sadder to know that i havent moved on.

and i dont know when i will.
or whether i will at all.

and the thing is no one understands. because no one can feel what i feel.
because no one can go through what i go through.

i still wish some people could just die now.

i've gone off too far to a place where no one can reach me.

i don't know who i am any longer.

and i don't think i even care anymore.

in all honesty, the sadness and bitterness is consuming me inside.
dont let me think of death again.

2008-05-10T16:48:00.001+08:00

going to see car later :)

sounds really odd though o.0 the way i phrase it.

yay. going to get my car soon le =)

but mommy wants me to get hatchback =( but i wan sporty sporty one ^^

-amanda

2008-05-08T22:46:00.001+08:00

go back to .... ?

2008-04-30T13:17:00.003+08:00

for a moment in my life, i really loved you the most and more than anything and everything in this world.
and in certain ways, i still do.

we did so many 'stupid' things together that it's hard not to think of the silly times running around doing inane things all for the sake of fun.

but you and me both know that long ago, it reached a point where we both reached our limit and couldnt take each other anymore....

but when things happened and you really werent there...
the difference is that somehow you mentioned that weeks before you were already sad, but i was still around and stuck by you even when you did push me away.
but when it came to my turn, you disappeared and left.

saying this now, i can imagine what your response is. .. the same response you've said the past seven times already.

its a lot to take at one time.

a part of me still misses the moments. but yet then i'll start thinking of the bad stuff that happened.
then i start wondering whether the good stuff was really real. because i dont know.
you give me ten different reactions, ten different signs, ten different explanations, ten different YOU on ten different days that i cannot keep up and when i expect Caring YOU and end up getting Grouchy You, things get ...worse.
i liked your spontaneity. but not the whole persona-changing.

the time we had together wasnt short, yet wasnt long. and til now i still wonder just when, you were for real.

just.. nevermind.

once upon a time, there was no happily ever after.

-amanda

2008-04-30T08:55:00.003+08:00

"Many a man fails to become a thinker for the sole reason that his memory is too good"
- friedrich nietzsche

ability to consider new perspectives hindered by the deep feelings about the past.

the past experiences that you've grown to treasure diminish your motivation to reinvent yourself

break free.

something that i read yesterday.

sigh. 9 am now ! havent slept, havent packed.

sometimes you wish you could take away everything.

i think things ended a long time ago. what only kept us going was what we once were but could never become again.

'take a break and take the time to rest and relax since you're going away'
- to everyone who said that to me.

yea i will.

love, amanda

2008-04-30T05:15:00.002+08:00

the feeling of taking a step forward..

only to fall behind 3 steps again.

the constant rise and fall.

but nevermind.

leaving for aus in 12 hours and i havent packed =X

temp's low there so it's on with all the jackets and scarves and jeans

when things couldn't feel worse

or any better.

then she msned.

and i dont know what the fuck for.

which kinda worsened the feelings a bit

when she said some damn stupid fcuking things that pissed me off.

i defended you during the stupid incident only to have you stab me in the back.
then now u come around and ask me how i am
and seek to say that things are better for me
then fuck you

u dont know anything that happened and yet you said the things you said
you really think things better for me then sod off.

for no absolute reason at all, you insulted me and badmouthed me and maligned me that time when i DIDNT EVEN OFFEND U AT ALL

and now i dint even bother u or wad or even say anything abt u, yet you go and say those stuff.
I STILL SAID I'M HAPPY FOR U
but u reply with typical stupidity.

fuck man. dunno den shut up i alr warned u that i moody.

zzz

-amanda

2008-04-26T22:19:00.000+08:00

leaving for australia soon.

sick now =( sore throat and sniffles !

haix. work to do work to do!

but i'm tired, wan to play, dun wan to think abt things !!!!

-amanda

2008-04-26T01:24:00.002+08:00

hmm.
its a molten chocolate feeling

where the outside seems okay
but when u 'slice' it, the chocolate sauce comes oozing out and you can't quite control the flow and it all leaks out onto your plate.

3 weeks is a 'long' time too short.

nvm.

-amanda

2008-04-23T14:20:00.002+08:00

because you're like me in a certain way. but you won't admit it. or you will but you'll add that horrific ,"BUT..."

becauseyou say things that you dont mean or cant live up to.

because you are down there playing around and fooling around and trying to make people feel a certain way while you are there laughing away.

because that is how you portray yourself to be. =P

-GOING EXAM LATER TODAY !
then meeting mel, huiqi and isabel.

bwah.
-amanda

2008-04-17T02:34:00.002+08:00

because i hate for all that has happened

because i don't know what i did wrong to you to have to go through this

because i was stupid to stick through your lies and your betrayal

because even at the end i'm the one suffering the mental torment

because even now no one can understand fully

because now no one can help

because at the end i know i only have myself to blame

because even now the tears havent gone away and the pain hasnt ebbed.

once upon a time, you said and did make the world seem right for once.

but now i see things in a worse shape than they ever were

because you showed me that even when
YOU PUT YOUR ALL INTO SOMETHING
NOTHING WILL EVER GO RIGHT
THAT EVERYTHING CAN ONLY GO WRONG

BECAUSE THAT IS HOW IT HAS BEEN FOR SO LONG
AND THAT IS HOW IT WILL REMAIN

FOR ALL THE LIES AND BROKEN PROMISES

and the one getting away is you.

-amanda.

because i dont know how to live anymore.

2008-04-12T00:34:00.002+08:00

because deep down, we're all afraid of the unknown

do i feel this way

because of the actuality of events

or because of a self-imposed sub-reality?

2008-04-11T04:04:00.004+08:00

after a long time i think maybe its time that i look back on certain things

although odds are few to fewer people have visited the blog owing to inactivity
but it doesnt matter, this is more for the person in me.

its barely been 4 months into a new year
and already there have been so many changes in my life. more than what i had anticipated.
or ever wished
or expected
it honestly feels like years have passed instead of months, that lifetimes have passed instead of days

those three years of concurrent studying coupled with a harsh lesson in time management and managing relationships, could not prepare me for what i would face this year

as people like melissa would know, my health was really bad at the start of the year, which caused me to miss a lot of class and meetings, and luck turned even sour with grades that were disappointing, it came to a point that even melissa would say that life had really entered a new low for me.

finishing that last week of poly life was hard. not because i was unwilling to let go. but because there was so much strain from all sides
and im thankful that i didnt suffer too much from it grades-wise

i finally now know how it feels like to feel that my life has stopped in motion but feel that everything around me is still moving on ahead.

it's a damn lonely feeling.

the year hasnt gone off well. ive been having trouble in most aspects
and ive not been happy on the whole...

with the final semester of my degree starting, i have more work now.

a part of me wishes that life would stop for just a while. even just for five minutes, for me to make sense of everything that is happening, because i know i cannot move on forward with the confusion and pain inside.

but life's unfair. even an extended hand that i hoped for, failed to show.

but ive lost ppl near and dear to me.
too soon too fast for me to cope.

the saddest thing is i know that
as much as friends or family may ask and try to help
who can really say they know how i feel
or even come close to knowing the feelings

this time last year i was still okay.

but now i only feel that lifetimes has passed since then
i havent stopped crying for so long already

can you tell me when the feeling will pass?
can you tell me when i will believe again?
or when i can bring myself to trust again?

its not that i dont want to go on.
but i dont know how.
its not that i'm not trying
or that i'm not finding ways
but ive tried already
in so many ways

sometimes you try so many things or think of so many ways
but the outcome remains the same
and you dont know what to think of anymore.

ive stopped faulting you for not being able to understand anymore.
because i realise that you're right that its unfair to you.
but who will realise that its unfair to me?

i'm drained in so many ways.
the odd thing is when i think i cannot cry anymore or that the tears have run dry
i realise that the sadness has no limit

in my heart i still love you. love in part represents hope.
hope that you would have understood.
that as tough as it may have been for you
i've been dying inside a lot longer.

and life's unfair.
that i may understand your position.
but who can understand mine?

your world may be black and white and the matter to you simpler than it is to me.

this time a long time ago
you put on repeat "no promises."
i dint realise the effect it would have a year later.

i'm sorry for having blamed u for the past few weeks.
but as much as apologies go

i'll be cast with this shadow
for a time far longer than you.

let me be selfish this once?
who will think for me?

this forces you to grow older... that life isnt that simple anymore.. why is it that certain priorities get rearranged...

is this incident not enough to put me first...

i could have been rejected from uni and i wouldnt care...

but it was being rejected from being your no.1 that affected me a lot...

love is hope.

in my heart, i love you always.

i could stop thinking for you and wreck ur life.
or i could continue thinking for u, and let you let go.

i remind myself now,
what made me happy a year ago, was seeing you and making sure u are happy.
we've moved on so far that i forgot my purpose of being with you.
as much as it was for my happiness, it was for yours.

you have said you cannot go on anymore, and happiness seems elsewhere for you.

i think i know now what would be the 'right' thing to do
to let you go on with a life that would be free from what is happening now.
i'm sorry for saying that i would drag u down with me.

"a man has to be understanding, and place his wife/gf before himself"

as much as i feel alone
and how everything no longer tastes the same or seems the same
rather one person 'die' than two.

in the end, you told me to be myself.
it isnt me to drag ppl down with me. or to let my incapability be your burden.

i love you, and i still care for you so much, that i want you to be happy.
you call me naive in my thinking that people shld be selfless.

then i'm naive =)

dear, i love you. i really do. i'm sorry for the past few weeks, it has been really tough for me. although a part of me still resent that you didnt keep the promise and part of the anger is still in me.... but things have already happened and i dont know how to 'repair' the broken pieces.

i wish you well, no matter the outcome,

it seems somehow that in the end
i give into u again
and it seems maybe you took me for granted.
but you say i havent done what i should do...
if you were to ask me "so what u wan from me"
i wouldnt know how to answer you.
because i dont know what you have to give...

then i guess nothing matters anymore.

in the end, no matter what the outcome, i only know that i have lost in more ways than one...

its a damn lonely feeling.

o.0 ominous

2008-01-29T04:08:00.001+08:00

my last post was dated sept 11.

=/

sigh

final year last sem final weeek is damn zzzzzzzzzzz

sigh

its just for this one week
this one week only.

sigh

-amanda

2007-09-11T01:56:00.000+08:00

dear,

kuangming

i'm sorry

for everything that has happened.

for my attitude

for previously lying to you.

for previously hiding stuff from you.

for my past.

for not being the girlfriend that you wanted and needed.

i still love you.

forgive me?

-amanda

2007-09-11T01:27:00.001+08:00

arlow

what have i done lately?

NOTHING
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

xD

its quite saddening =/
deplorable state of affairs.

-amanda

Looking For ..... Mr Happy :)

2007-08-30T02:24:00.000+08:00

this post comes after a way-too-long hiatus.

an unplanned hiatus. =/

it seems so long since i last saw melissa and i met up with her that day for dinner at paragon before heading to heeren where i got myself a tee :)

happy that i've finally shopped at least one item. so i can stave off the shopping urges for another... 3-4 months at least

life's been ... okay since iap ended. i've been doing nothing but bumming around. not counting in the occasional exam and assignment that i have to do =/

wondering if i should go work =/

not toooo sureeee

poly life's going to blow by.

and i'm wondering just what i've done for this year 2007.

8 months are blitzing past. and all i've got to show for it is one IAP, a sub-standard last sem for my 2nd year, and nothing much else.

i've stopped blogging for a long while.

and i realised that i only really blogged fairly frequently during the beginning of this year

when things were balmy :)
and everyday was like a day in bintan!

-amanda

2007-08-10T02:12:00.000+08:00

iap's over.

20 weeks has flown just like that.
to think i was still groaning and complaining back at week 2..
but yet again time flies

its been 7 months
since the start of the year
since the start of everything new

bring it all back.

-amanda

equinox

2007-08-02T00:01:00.000+08:00

isnt a solistice timed soon?
seeing as summer is coming to an end (i think)...
where the days and nights are lengthened and shortened

u know how there are always multiple paths of getting to the same destination point?

things will get to me somehow.

tests - prepare now.

i dont know la. zzz. somehow or rather, as always and ever, i will find a way, i will find a way.

-amanda

2007-08-01T00:36:00.000+08:00

so fiona 'ripped' my prose =P
not that i mind at all =)

its comforting to know that
i'm not alone in feeling that way.
:)

so many things have happened on the personal front

that i sort of forgot that i have an assignment due in 2 days
and 2 mid-term exams to reschedule =/ shite =X

but as always, i'll find a way, i'll find my way ;)

the wind-swept gusts blow the tendrils away
and my vision is partially obscured by the wisps of my bangs
the odd silence, punctuated only by the hollowness of the sound of the wind
is marred by the frenetic chaos that goes on within me
to feel calm on the inside when everything is in disarray
is it not better than feeling flustered when faced with the sea?
to face the motions and brevity of issues extrinsically
than to have to confront the very demons intrinsically.
that is but the route of escape.
it is from within that the very answers can be sought
and it is from that same core essence that the realisations were attained and that acceptance could step in and wield its passive calming effect.
time is a great teacher, a healer, a mentor.
even if you choose to turn a blind side to him, he will reach out to you. there is no avoiding him when he has set his sights to guide you, teach you or help you.

-amanda

f l u

2007-07-31T02:53:00.001+08:00

IM COMING DOWN WITH THE STUPID FLU

i think its cause of the late nights
and lack of water

and an overall not so jovial outlook of life

so pretty soon i'll have to pop meds again

play this thing by ear.
cause thats what you do best.

-amanda

sweet release

2007-07-31T02:09:00.000+08:00

reverse serendipity

with serendipity being the situation whereby desirable objects are often found 'accidentally' or simply put, just being lucky

so added with the whole reverse thing

its oft i find myself stuck or lurched (wait. did i get that word right?) in scenarios that leave much to be desired

my weakness is my strength. but more oft than not, my supposed strength is my achilles heel

something that i have carved and managed to make a part of me for so long, has instead led to a seemingly inane path where the trees and foliage are getting a tad too hard to get through

my fairy tale dream which i once shattered
was, once upon a time, restored
but actuality has shown me
that some things were meant to be woven with words and stitched into books
and never taken out to represent life or even to form a semblance of it

for once, surprisingly or not,
my life hasnt collapsed despite =/
i dont know why...

the finality of resigning to the fact that expectations and hopes will never mirror actuality and reality has allowed me, in a way, anticipate the path of certain things in knowing that whatever i felt or went through, once upon a time, cannot flinch me or make wince anymore because i have since realised that things are the way they are because of the decisions and actions of the people within the matters and issues and that more often than not, they are in themselves variables that cannot be controlled as such and precisely because of that reason that things are beyond my control and even beyond the extent of my knowledge that i know for a fact that should things turn out one way or another there serves no purpose to wallow in it anymore for the very fact that more time has been wasted thinking and wallowing in wondering what could have been and what might have been when there is no other way for me to turn back time and wish that other choices were decided upon. for which i am now taking responsibility, or even some semblance of responsiblity in knowing that the choices i made six months ago, or even a year ago, will serve to impact the outcome and scenarios of things that happen now, and that even if they dont, it serves no greater meaning or purpose in pondering over could-haves or might-have-beens for the very fact that they are ultimately all 'never-happened's. and it is with this thinking in mind that i hereby,with a great resigned spirit, withdraw to the core of my thoughts in knowing that no matter how hard i try to control for certain things, that things have an uncanny way of happening or turning out the way that they are and it is for that reason that i no longer believe in the idea that there is an upswing to things. or even to life. that things exist in a monotonous straight line....

the feeling is so familiar that it starts to feel foreign
that i feel as if i'm on the outside staring in

and a phrase has inched into my mind

things have happened and now cease to be 'relevant'
but i'm left picking the shattered pieces beyond the door.

if u fault me for how i feel, then stop and understand that whatever happened has an impact, whether u like it or not. and believe me
i would give nearly everything to not have to feel this way or go through this
as much as i was ready for it,
do u really think i meant for it to happen ?
chance has a funny way of messing with you when you think you've got it locked down.
as much as u need time to think through everything and clear ur mind
likewise, i do too.. whatever that has happened has impacted more than one person; you.
i sincerely believe that there are people sitting down and staring off into space wondering whether what has happened, needed to happen the way it did and if there were any way at all for a resolution.

knowing myself. or seeming to know myself.
i'll get myself out of this stupid rut. one way or another.
whatever i'm feeling now, is just that. feelings of my current state.
the good thing is i dont feel as messed up as before
the only thing thats bothering me are all those small realisations that i make every few hours or minutes
about stuff about me. or more often, realisations about things that you said that ended up being a cushion for truth
i find myself shaking my head; smiling; laughing to myself
the funniest thing is i dont feel pain, i thought that it was one of my delayed reactions again. it has been 2 days and i still dont feel pain.

i know now its something else entirely. is it futility?
i wont go and think anymore
cause the 'never-happeneds' will always resound. and i'll never know.

-amanda

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

2007-07-30T23:43:00.000+08:00

recent events have been uncalled for =/

but rather expected and not at all surprising, given the conditions and situations and circumstances etc.

i feel as if a whirlwind has blown past, leaving me with scattered leaves and dust-blown trails...
yet the odd calmness that has settled after the gusts seems oddly unsettling

it is not expected, this feeling of passiveness
yet it is not unbecoming, for whatever has happened has since ploughed through its designated trail
without a care nor worry about the things that lay beforehand

and it is with this mindset that i start thinking of things that have long past but which lessons and ideals have sought to remain to cast a light on the current scene.

it was a few years back, that i started believing in the whole notion that whatever i did today or chose to do today would no doubt be done unto me in one way or another, or that i would end up on the flip side of things, for is that not the exact reason why life is oft regarded as one full circle...

the brevity of everything around me so far, has only taught me that there is no longer such a thing as forever, or even the premise of such a thing as indefinite values or morals.

everything is subjective.

2007-07-26T00:56:00.000+08:00

when you dont know the answers to your own questions.

i read this in my horoscope.

" there are 3 versions of the truth: yours, the other person's and what actually happened."
" think about it and you'll realise the cosmic joke that's within"
"and you'll realised that you have moved on..."

-amanda

2007-07-24T23:42:00.000+08:00

two sides of the same coin.

and i flipped it on its end.

even chance wont give me an answer.

-amanda

2007-07-23T00:31:00.000+08:00

2 more weeks to the end of iap.

shades.

-amanda

2007-07-16T01:26:00.000+08:00

week 18 has dawned upon me.

i'm not in the best of shape right now.

so she never knew that i existed.

but you told me that she knew.

i feel like i'm lost
among the hedges of overgrown ivy,
that i have to wind round the twists and turns
and the many steps backwards
and the countless steps forward
when all i needed was just a blade
to slash past the endless barrage of leaves and stems.

but that's the beauty of the garden maze.
the supposed fun is in finding your way out amongst
the dead-ends and red herrings
does that apply to the many other things in life too?

that the setbacks and tribulations that i go through
is what was set in place to test me and make this life 'fun'
that breezing my way past life
is not and was never the real solution?

i wish there were fewer red herrings
and fewer dopplegangers and ersatz objects
i guess it's like peeking at the answers at the back of a puzzle book
where it takes the fun out of solving it on your own, but yet finally satisfies that nagging curiosity in you.
its forbidden, yet so enticing and tempting to just flip the book and peek at the answers

i keep telling myself that i can finish the puzzle on my own
that i dont need the help.
yet when it comes to the really hard ones, i oft find myself peeking at just an answer or two,
in hope that those hints will somehow guide me through the rest of the way.

i guess i'm feeling a little that way now.
that i wish there was an answer list that i could peek at
and somehow know what i'm supposed to be doing now
that i would receive the guidance to get through the rest of my life.

but that's the thing. life isnt' a puzzle book
it never was.

sigh.

when everything i lived for, turns out to be just a tad more complicated than what i had expected
i start to question everything about myself
and wonder.

i still love you, in my own way.
maybe i'm not doing things the way you like it to be done
but that doesn't change the fact that the intentions and meanings are the same.

i could give you a hundred roses
or buy you a yacht
or write you a million songs
or fold you a thousand hearts
or just pour you a cup of water when your throat's feeling dry
or hold you close when you're feeling cold in the cinema
or just hold your hand when we cross the road

a million actions could mean the same thing or stem from the same intention.
i mean it. when i say i love you.

-amanda

its the straw that broke the camel's back

2007-07-12T23:17:00.000+08:00

week 17 is here
and its the tail end already heading into the weekend

i got back my exam results =) for some papers. all's well so far.
still got loads of assignments to catch up on

- crim #1 to #5
- theories of crim.behv #1 to #5
- psych #3 and #4
- victimology research paper
and a load of exam papers to clear

bleagh =/

but i made progress. i've logged. done a couple of psych stuff. cleared some ethics stuff

3 more weeks til iap ends

the tension headaches arent helping or improving

and the recent bout of nightmares just takes the cake.

-amanda

2007-07-05T21:47:00.000+08:00

hahaha
that was a rather good way to start a post.
what with week 16 coming to an end and me still having a backlog of logs.
and not to mention work.
but all is well. seemingly.

after a rather fruitful (on one end) shopping trip the other day, i now really know that i'm either terribly fussy or that the fashion state of singapore is really deplorable. sure enough the men's side is getting some action, what with new and more trendy designs coming in but with the ladies side..
why does it somehow seem that i've seen that same printed empire waist trapeze dress at probably 2 shops back and will probably see it 3 shops later?

so suffice to say, i wasnt on the fruit-bearing end of the spree.
nevertheless, i'm pleased that mr.eskimo was now the new proud owner of a new pair of jeans that finally a) was unique enough (no one else can carry off that print), b) dark enough c) was cut nicely.
though the next morning, he did talk about his pockets being a tad tight.
though i say DARLING u are fat la =P
and i'm half expecting him to whack me tomorrow....

mr.eskimo also indulged in a new shirt but but but stopped short of getting new shoes simply because mr.fussyeskimo didnt know what color to get or rather there was no color that attracted him o.0

so my bank account is back to its dismal state =X

OH. before i forget, thank you to the people who wished me a happy burstday/birdday/birthday
they are namely (in no particular order)
my mom, don, looney, wanting, jinbao, runjie, haowei, zongda, ah bing, sandra...
and of course mr.eskimo
who proclaimed that "really no fight man. crayfish cannot beat lobster"

its been a pretty drawn and weary first half of 2007
and i'm of course hoping that things get better
and i do am trying to believe that things can only get better from how they are now

-amanda
blubblubblu!~

its yet another one after a long one

2007-06-28T00:39:00.000+08:00

harlow ~

its been eons since i last blogged uh.. properly
i mean without the whole cryptic lines thing and all

seeing as how i basically go through various people's blogs everyday
i feel a tad shameful and sad that my own blog is really.. maintained.

Sufffice to say that if i were to compare my blog to that of a house with the typical idyllic white picket fences, the lawn would have probably been overrun by killer weeds and parasitic vines with the usual ivy trail creeping up over the side of my new patio =/

which is an exaggeration in itself as i do not even OWN a house. wait. can anyone find me a house in singapore that has the typical idyllic white picket fence around it?

barbed wire and reinforced concrete walls ARE NOT white picket fences

but i digress. (as usual -.-)

aah... i think i havent blogged abt me chopping off my locks.

so yes i did lop off the locks and i think so far only melissa has seen me with short hair (not counting of course the very person who accompanied / suggested / requested / desired me to get the haircut in the first place, and no i am not insulting u please dont think too much =X xD blubblubblu)

what else happened...
well =/
i was at broadcastasia and communicasia under IAP

uh... i have an ethics exam tomorrow
i got psych homework due the day after
i got victimology research paper as yet undone
and 10 criminology and theories of criminal behavior assignments as yet undone
and 3 finals as yet unscheduled yet
so I HAVE THIS ODD FEELING I AM A BIT SCREWED UP =X
xD but as always, amanda will find a way ^^

what else has been happening..
let's see. my bank account has a dismal amount inside. though i do not, for the life of me, know WHY

uh... i realised that i display really odd behaviour during certain times of the month

i feel like eating CHOCOLATE MOUSSE NOW . but i cant cause well. -.- its 12:51 am and i dont really know any place that sells it now....
=(

there's so many things i wanna doooooooo ~
do ah do ah do ah

ITS WEEK 15 BY THE WAY OMG. 5 MORE WEEKS OF IAP AND ITS MY HOLIDAYS
I WANT MY HOLIDAYS
I CRAVE FOR MY HOLIDAYS
I DESIRE TO GET MY HOLIDAYS BACK
U DO NOT KNOW JUST HOW IMPORTANT HOLIDAYS ARE
WHEN U ARE WORKING
ITS NOT ABT THE DAMN CASH OR SALARY
ITS ABT THE REST AND THE FREEDOM TO DO WHATEVER I WANT WHENEVER I WANT TO!!!!

to be able to go swimming at random times of the morning during weekdays when there's no one to laugh at the amount of weight ive gained at the pool
to be able to wake up at ridiculously late times and to go back home at even more ridiculous times without the worry of having work the next day
to be able to (i cant think of any. sudden mental block)

s i g h

suddenly i emo =X moodswing xD

bleagh ah bleagh

its been eventful. with a caps E and an elongated L xD

its time to do my work man =X

-amanda xD

blubblubblu ~

2007-06-24T04:10:00.000+08:00

its raw

but not unfamiliar

its distinct

but all too similar

take care, my dear, for i do love you so.

-amanda

2007-06-12T00:52:00.000+08:00

its like picking at a scab that you thought had already healed

i didnt expect this pain.

and frankly i dont know what to make of it.

2007-06-05T22:44:00.000+08:00

sigh. so many things have happened

some is of course brought upon by yours truly.

yet others were beyond my control.

is it wrong to want to have happiness?

or peace?

or calmness? =/

i drove my dad's car today =X celebrated his bday and drove from bukit timah back home ~ safe and sound ~ i can even park the car

alll i can say is my dad's car is long ~ =X
but i still estimate correctly worhx

so yes ~ safe driver =)

i want my own car soon ba. set myself a goal ...

week 12 of attachment le !

2 more months of agony...

i actually miss school.. then again thinking that i havent select my specialisation yet...
i abit hesitant and unwilling...

sigh.. decisions...

FUCK LA. I NOT FEELING WELL SINCE LAST WEEK
i honestly wish someone can come over and either stab me
push me off a building
drown me

u get the idea la hor.

i know i chose this (indirectly or rather directly). i'm coming to terms with it.

pockets of solitude will help me regen. i must rethink everything and ask myself to go back to the root and ask myself why the fuck i asked the question in the first place.

i still love you.

-amanda

ho ho ho ho

2007-05-23T21:07:00.000+08:00

i PASSED MY DRIVING TEST LE OMG ! XD

aahhh ~ now i can legally go and cause accidents =)
xD

16 points only leh ~ (actually. well. yea. xD)

sho happy ~!

=)

what other stuff happened...

uh..
eh...
hmm..

hmm, working working working. week 10 le. interrim report due and i havent do yet =(
this sat degree exam. havent study.
still got research paper and articles due !
busy ah busy~
this weekend must do le~
next week common test. please study mr.eskimo =)

nose u nose u ~! =X

sighyosighyo!!!!

tired~ i am going to go ZzZzZzz early today.
mom wants to go jogging at 6 am -.- (highly unlikely i will wake up though o.0)

but still... xD

oh my darling~ oh my darling~
oh my darling~ mr eskimo!
please study hard! =)
i will always support you ~
and build u an igloo where u can eat all the fishheadcurry u want...
xD

-amanda

2007-05-16T20:35:00.000+08:00

i am still alive ~

=)

9th week of attachment.

surviving. getting there. i kinda miss school. =/

happy to see isabel that day =)

OH and looney is coming back soon~

=)

happy 19th looney~ u old le xD

driving test next week =/

-amanda

same old same old...

2007-04-25T21:19:00.000+08:00

OMG I SHLD BLOG RIGHT

sorry ppl!
i couldnt blog cause i cant blog at work cause of some problem with me accessing secure webpages!
so anyways, i'm here to update since i'm finally home after a long while and i'm currently clearing my degree work and stuff and im really happy that i have at least some things sorted out cause it gets really irritating to always have this load on ur mind and yet not know what to do with it cause its so ugh. yet u know u have to do it and yes i know i havent really paused yet and this sentencec is so long despite that full stop thats just above but anyway and anyhow how have u ppl been doinggggggggggg???

ANYWAYS

its the (i dont know what week) of attachment!
i'm still alive!
with a dwindling bank account!
but its okay!
cause i got my sugar daddy ! (right, dear... ?) =)

how have i been lately..
okay lo =/

same old same old

i gained weight

i look fatter now

=(

sniff snifff

i wanna go holiday again ^^
this time either Cebu, or Koh Samui. i'm fascinated with water, now =X

though someone's arms nearly fell off today.....

HORRRR !
=X

love you la silly shrimp =X

-amanda

bintan- sun sand sea and oil =X

2007-04-09T00:57:00.000+08:00

HELLO PEOPLE !!!!

i know i havent been blogging for very long! but herei am now !!!!

and i have many updates lehhh xD

i just came back from sunny bintan! xD where i spent a (painful) 3D2N with my dearest darling rick =X

we arrived friday evening at bintan !
where we settled down and walked arounddddd and realised that the bintan sky is really very nice =) and starry ^^

we then headed to the kelong for our dinner ~
OH.! we received free fruits. and ate free prawns... =X

second morning! rise early !!!! wake at 7am (indo time ah)
went for breakfast before changing and POOF! we go karaoke !
xD cause u see ah. must wait for tide to come in. then when thy holy tide came in, we went to 'ride' banana boat !!

u see, its a high-speed, low-risk sport. so can someone explain to me why we 'capsized' 3 times =X
PAIN OKAY. i landed on my side. but rick ah... dear ah dear... =X but ANYWAYS
after that we decided to head to an island which had.... NOTHING on it. as in.. uh.. sand, sand, more sand, and oh ya. sand.

so we 'hitched' a ride on another boat that was going snorkeling.. and we got to snorkel for freeee ~! xD

AND IM NOT SUPPOSED TO BLOG ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO RICK WHILE WE SNORKELED =X
so i shant!laalalalal. i saw so many schools of fish, sea urchins, corals !~ bootiful ^^

then we headed back to shore... where we decided to rest and take a nap before heading for a shoulder neck and head massage! XD
we had room service for lunch !

so anyways. yes we went massage ~ ^^ soothing. rick so happy.
okay. now is the part where I AM SUPPOSED TO BLOG CAUSE RICK SAY I MUST BLOG THIS PART
u see. me being the adventurous me... decided to explore this 'hut' that was situated WAAAYYYY out in the sea. and was connected to land by this concrete pathway

of which there were puddles of..... water and oil that I DID NOT SEE OKAY. IS WEAR TO U IT WAS PITCH BALACK HOW TO SEE. so yes i stepped into it. BUT BUT BUT
I PULLED RICK WITH ME SO I NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO KENNA OKAY. !!!!!

so yes we returned to the room to ... bathe =X not my fault la dear XD

then to dinner~ before walking out on the beach again. the skyis really very nice.... =D

then back to ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

sunday morning !
i received a nasty call at 7:13am. 'ma'am, ur ferry 10am. checkout 8.'
'hah? i thought ferry 6 checkout 4'
'no ma'am. 6 full'
'...."
so sigh. i dragged my down-trodden soul and proceeded to pack everything =(
rick had by this time fallen sick (weakk ! DONT KNOW WHO THAT DAY TELL ME THAT HE EVERYDAY DRINK VITAMIN C SO NOT EASYY FALL SICK. END UP WHO SICKKKKKK =X) ALALALALALALAL XD

so anyways, we headed to the reception. of which they told us that...
uhm. ur ferry 6. checkout 4 -.-

okayyyy nvm. semulah! back to the room. so we headed to breakfast before changing and deciding that.... maybe we shld go swim
then again milky waters in a pool werent really appealing
so we headed out to walk on the 'sea'
which well... was at low tide la =/

so walk ah walk. and i realised that rick is actually very inhumane!

HE FILLED THE CRAB HOLES WITH SAND WHENEVER HE SAW A POOR ITTY BITTY CRAB STICK ITS LITTLE HEAD OUT !

YOU MASS MURDERER !!!!!

xD

but yea. we walked back and decided to head to the farm resort... (we were at the beach. duh la hor)

HA! RICK HAS NO PATIENCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

we went fishing ~!

and caught NOTHING but fed everything xD

then we headed to the driving range. u see. i have yet to discover why i CANNOT REACH 50M !!!!!

grrrr.

after that.... we headed back to the beach resort and had a shower

OF WHICH ME AND RICK STARTED FIGHTING WITH THE PILLOWS

XD

ahhh then shower~
then pack pack pack and off to take the bus

and to the ferry!

of which was delayed

of which we then thought of ways to swim back to singapore.
but realised -.- no way man

in the ferry~ we... were talking about how rick has finally realised the dark side of singaporeans on vacation.
which prompted me to recall moments where my brother and i used to hate being singaporean.... BECAUSE of this very reason.
but anyways, me and rick reached singapore in one piece.

and bought stuff
none for u people ! cause i no money =X

AND WE GOT TO SIT ON THE SMRT SPACE MPV ! XD cause i call cab mah =X

shu fu ~

reached home. plonked the stuff and ate ... instant noodles ... thats all me and rick can afford now =X

and here i am ! xD
happy happy ^^

anyways, i received my pay for my first 2 weeks of work already and i think i spent it all already !
i bought 3 dresses at bugis laaaaa =X

i cant help it~ they looked so nice !
wait. no. omg.

i bought 1 dress 1 skirt at bugis.
2 dresses at central!

AAAHHHH XD

its another working day tml ... =(

nvm ~ xD

happy ^^

-amanda

2007-03-19T15:26:00.000+08:00

hola people!

i'm blogging from my office ^^

yesh. u heard or rather read that right.

i'm working !!!!! omg ! hahahaha

attachment laa...

work so far has been okay.

finished editing an excel document
currently QC-ing 4 websites

then i'll move on to other stuff

anyways, i'm down with the flu bug again... musta been those late nights coupled with that day in the rain.

blahhh =(

anyways, went DXO on fri night with rick, charmaine, xiangyin. met rick's friend sandra at cityhall.

then went to DXO and we saw danial there. and then well i saw grace, menreet and alicia there. and also mabia and huiwen...

the world is getting a tad too small for my liking =/

anyways, as usual xiangyin decided to keh kiang and 'take up' rick's challenge. so he went to down one tequila pop, one tequila shot, one waterfall before proceeding on to down one graveyard at one go. and well. needless to say... he kinda forgot how he behaved. or rather MISbehaved on the dancefloor... ahem ahem.

but well. he presumably collapsed on the 2nd floor not long after...

charmaine and sandra on the other hand, got to know each other and well dance with each other at the dance floor...

me and rick on the other other hand (yes i have many hands)
were 'debating' over who would drink more of the graveyard.
so it was actually half half.
then it bcame 1/4 3/4.
then it became. just drink then we see who sip first

so well. that one drink brought about a lot of revelations

EDIT - I COULDNT POST THIS POST CAUSE I WAS AT WORK !!! and my it analyst decided to block my blogging option -.-

so anyways first week of work is over! and it culminated in a day at DXO with rick ^^

tired ah tired.... ><

-amanda

2007-03-13T07:41:00.000+08:00

i miss you. so much.

-amanda

2007-03-11T20:03:00.000+08:00

my greatgrandma passed away

and today was her burial.

i feel odd.

1week.

tell me how i should be feeling now

tell me what i should be doing now

tell me what i should be thinking of now

you are so close.
yet i know you are so far away.

thank you. for everything.

-amanda

2007-02-22T23:59:00.000+08:00

its time i blogged =)

yes. many stuff has happened personally.

though i realise that through it all. somehow i've become stronger?
as it is always said... metal that goes through the flames always comes out stronger and shinier =)

its been a trying time. but i've not backed down

you could attribute it to my stubborness or just pure tenacity
i'll never let go
_--------------------------------------------------------------------

in other 'news' !

chinese new year came.. and hasnt gone yet~
it was a really 'boring' CNY for me. since i didnt go visiting at all !
save for one relative house and rick's house.... nope. didnt visit any other places.
so well. yea =x

had my hair cut and coloured yesterday at KR+
there goes half my angbao money~
though i do find the colour really interesting and versatile now. makes me look less washed out and more wild =X

and no looney, i am not a chao ah lian -.-

rick started work on wednesday which led to a really really long sms on how to go to his workplace =X
he didnt get lost ^^ that was the good thing.
bad thing - he discovered a lot of things on his first day there.
which.... then led to how i had to go and pack his lunch for him today.
=X
and yes dear, please enjoy ur lunch =X

his attachment lasts for.... 6 weeks. so i have to pack for 6 weeks of lunch.
30 days. - 3 days down. 27 more days to pack =X
i feel so AQMFS-ish. bian dang here and bian dang there ~

went to MoS lastnight. rick, being the stubborn _____ that he is, wanted to club. and it was a toss between zouk and MoS
so we headed to Zouk. saw tony, paul and jaryl there.
and i saw a dreaded hate of mine.
- long queue -.-

so i said go MoS laaaa !!!!
and seeing as his friend jeremiah was supposed to be 'celebrating' with rick before he heads off to china for his oiap, well =/ i had to guard his drinking la =X

AND AHA. FOR THE FIRST TIME. THIS TIME IS RICK U GO BACK HOME EARLY ONE AH. not me ah !!!! XD muahahah xD

not my fault ~ lalalala
and well. needless to say. he overslept for work =/
730 reach. he 715 wake up XD
okay. maybe my fault. i didnt hear my hp alarm =X

so anyway, i headed back home. and slept. finally =X
then wake up. prepare his next-day lunch. meet him. then went driving.
then tada. here i am ~ XD

considering to head to zouk this sat seeing as i have the entry passs....

hmm....

-amanda

2007-02-14T01:01:00.000+08:00

tonight's the first night.

in a long while.

that i'm sleeping alone.

(and no, lest you perverts out there start thinking awry, its not what u are thinking about)

i cant remember the last time i slept alone.
and it feels weird.
awkward.
something missing.

that night. the surprise that you gave.
restored my faith in surprises and the idea that perhaps love can work out afterall

its already been a month plus.
yet we behave like its only been a week.
but yet it feels like we've known each other for years.

this feeling's funny. but comfortable.

always,

-amanda

bittersweet

2007-02-10T17:50:00.000+08:00

went DXO last night. suffice to say i couldnt remember what happened once i stepped out of the club. and NO i wasnt wasted like last time !
just a tad tipsy. thats all =X

and yes. rick was on hand to make sure that i didnt go jump into the bay =X

surprisingly (or rather not), i saw a few familiar faces there. saw benjamin (bertram's brother), shawn etc.

other than that, life has been .... okay =X

ting, zhiwen u all want to know about what happens between me and rick.
kaypo =X

hahaha. okay la.

he surprised me that day.
with a very elaborate plan that involved xiangyin, zongda, ben, yuen mei and haowei =X

aaah...
hahahahaha
XD
so embarassing to say =x

xD aiy.. i'll keep it at that =x

-amanda

=) through sickness and in health

2007-02-06T13:19:00.000+08:00

=)
okay. i think i should blog cause a lot of stuff happened recently and i think it best that i categorise it =)

POLY-WORK
its finally over! semester wise project wise. its all over. after toiling through for 16 agonising weeks, i have finally come to the end of everything! now left 2 more exams and i've officially crossed over to being known as a THIRD-YEAR student (or final-year) ahhhh

DEGREE-WISE
just had a paper last night. 2 more research papers to go and i can clear the 'burden' !!! another paper in march. starting new modules soon =)

HEALTH-WISE
okay so most of u know that i am down under the weather sick agonisingly in pain. and yes its the flu bug.
and u know the previous post where i said that i found out sth that i wished i didnt know ?
well. i think its best that i let some ppl know =) lest u all think that it had sth to do with other areas of my life.
during the checkup for my flu, the doctor realised that i had an extra sound in my heartbeat and suffice to say, i was referred to a specialist. of which i saw this morning. yes there is an audible 'clicking' sound in ur heart. it is probably mitral valve prolapse. but to be sure, they need to run a few tests. so once exams are over, i will have to go for an ultrasound and a treadmill test to test the extent of the 'irregularity'. the doctor says its nothing serious. and that i have nothing to worry about. but still. its worrying =)
a sigh of relief is knowing that all those past times where i had exerted myself physically and felt that sharp gripping pain.. i finally have a reason to explain for it =) its 'nice' to know that all this while, whatever i had 'suffered' for is finally explainable

RSHIP-WISE
yes i recently celebrated one month with rick =) and needless to say. with reference to ZongDa's comment yes... i am very happy =)
i dont know if i should blog abt it cause ....... hahahaha
if u guys want to know then i will blog abt it. if not then =)
and oh yes. cordon bleu is not for the faint-hearted =X
dear, thank you =)

-amanda

=)

2007-02-02T03:25:00.000+08:00

i found out something today that i wished wasnt true =)

i'm smiling through the tears
while i'm hiding from the fears

today's the last day of school and the last presentation
theni can throw advert away~ but there's still feautre left =/
no fear. i like feature. i hate advert =)

tomorrow's one month.
and it feels like it just happened a week ago =)

i've fallen sick by the way. flu and the usual bug.

sometimes u just fear certain things.
certain things.

-amanda

2007-01-27T12:08:00.000+08:00

oh...kay...

currently at the library now. doing work =/
going to print advert soon~

exam postponed to next week

end of sch is coming. am looking forward to it

don is going to bangkok, not sure if i shld go along
mom wants me to go~

=x

-amanda

2007-01-24T00:18:00.000+08:00

ever
Felt
like
stabbing
yourself ?

cause
i
do.

-amanda

thoughts

2007-01-22T02:23:00.000+08:00

you dont know how much it meant to me
that you stayed over
that you said certain things
that you did certain things
that you looked a certain way

even if circumstances feel like shite
seeing you makes everything go away

dear, thank you

why did arsenal have to score that second goal ....
=x

i feel odd

-amanda

2007-01-21T01:30:00.000+08:00

~ as i sat here and watched you sleep
i felt something in my heart so deep ~

i had tvprod in the morning before i rushed off for my exam i pray to god that huey marks my attendance lest i get debarred =(
after that i went to meet melissa. we went to town to settle my tvprod. thank you looney =)

but well. we ended up shopping too. as in get some important stuff la =/
like another pair of nine west shoes..... which cost 112...
LOONEY UR FAULT U MAKE ME BUY THING

but anyways, after that i went to meet rick
or rather was supposed to
but lo and behold (I WAS NOT SURPRISED OKAY. =p )
he was sitting at my house steps
and then tada. go my house.

so then i speed-rush go change
then rick asked me
"we going somewhere special? y u wear so nice?"
i said "hah?"
then it turns out. or rather
well
put it this way la
its 1:40 am and i am at home on a sat night
so u can guess that yea i didnt go out in the end =(

well. here i am doing MM
and rick is sleeping

and the 3 of them are at mac plaza emo-ing =/

this is really emo week =/

but anyways, i'm very tired but i cant sleep
cause well. =X

hee.

-amanda

=(

2007-01-18T12:22:00.000+08:00

expectations
weigh
heavily
on
my
mind
-
sometimes
i
wish
work
would
just
sublime...

-amanda

2007-01-12T11:17:00.000+08:00

LALALALALA

work is here work is here

but i'm so slack that looney scold me!!!

XD

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah must do work !!!!

-amanda

2007-01-09T02:25:00.000+08:00

[YES] Gotten a referral.
[YES] Gotten detention.
[YES] Gotten your cellphone taken away.
[ ] Gotten suspended.
[YES] Chewed gum during class.
TOTAL: 4
[YES] Gotten late to a class more than 10times.
[YES] Didn't do homework over 5 times.
[ ] Returned at least 5 projects inlate.
[YES] Missed school cause you felt likeit.
[YES] Skipped class at least 3 times.
TOTAL: 8
[YES] Got your mom/dad etc. to get youout of school.
[YES] Texted people during class.
[YES] Passed notes
[YES] Threw stuff across the room.
[YES] Laughed at the teacher.
TOTAL: 13
[YES] Pulled down the fire alarm.
[YES] Went on myspace; xanga; etc on thecomputer in the library
[ ] Took pictures during class.
[YES] Called someone during class.
[YES] Listened to an ipod/cd player/mp3 during class.
TOTAL: 17
[ ] threw something at the teacher
[YES] Went outside the classroom without permission
[YES] Broke the dress code.
[ ] Failed a class.
[YES] Ate food during class.
TOTAL: 20
[YES] Gotten a call home
[ ] Couldn't go on a field trip cause you behaved bad
[YES] Didn't take your stuff to school
[ ] gotten a referral and ripped it up
[YES] used passes from other days/ Ormade fake pass
[ ] said a cuss word during class loudenough so the teacher could hear
TOTAL: 23

okay i dont get how to calculate the total =X
OH
23/30 ?

wow.
okay la.
i that pai kia ah

xD

BUT THAT ASIDE

HELLO PPL !

I AM BACK FROM PENANG
THE LAND OF THE LAKSA, CHAR KWAY TEOW AND UNMARKED LANES!

yes. i'm back from that arduous journey to that island across the malay peninsula
and i bought back many things
(all for me. and yes im so unthoughtful that i didnt buy anyone anything)

i got myself 2 bags
5 tops
3 jeans
and i dont know what else

and mauahahaah
so happy ^^

other than that.
in other news
i went out with rick today
and he finally understood the meaning of eating little bit
well. i ate. a little. bit.

and other than that....
HMMM

hahahahaha school started and advert's creatives are over~
so is feat 2
AND OMG I HAVENT PRINT MY NOTES

shite. off to print soon.
uh... some ppl might say i'm happier now ^^
WhY?

aiy... a select few know hahahaha
but the news will sure get out cause i blab a lot =X
aAAHHHH

=)

exam this sat, and i still want to play billiards
and oh yes. i beat rick at billiards!!!!

o.0
wheeee~~ its like school doesnt exist =X

-amanda

2006-12-29T03:43:00.000+08:00

hahahahaha

i finally blogged!
xD

so what has happened thus far?

firstly, merry xmas everyone!
hahahah
i know i'm fairly late =P

anyways, thank euuu mel for the yi fu xD
thank you wee for the bookmark that i wanted ^^
uhm
=x
i think thats all i received man

wait did i forget ?
anyone?
xD

ahhhh anyways
all the projects and homework arent done yet!!!

aaahhh !!!!

hahahaha
but i cant be bothered to do la
holidays are for enjoying !
and thats all ive been doing ~

playing and going for supper!!!!

aaahhh get fat ah get fat ah!!!!

aaaaahhhh so fat so fat hahaaahah

play ah play ah

- amanda

omg i went clubbing =X

2006-12-16T11:25:00.000+08:00

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!

I WENT MOS YEST.NIGHT !!!!

i saw my classmates there!!!!

i went to meet kuangming there~

and sheet man, i got wasted =x
and according to my mom, 'if you cant take the alcohol, y u go and drink!!!!'

but to me like very little (HAAHAH)
i had 3 vodka orange, 1 bacardi151 shot, 1 tequila shot

so okay la maybe it was cause it was my FIRST TIME DRINKING A LOT AT ONE GO LAAAAAA XD

okay i know its lame. dont laugh at me!!!
i had to vomit til this morning okay!

and i still feel queasy
but other than that, clubbing quite not bad leh XD
dance dance dance~

HELLO AUNTY GRACE ~~~~~ you ki-siao woman you

OH OH OH and i need to mention

MY EDITOR AND SUB-ED FORCED ME TO SPEND MONEY THE OTHER DAY

they made me buy a GAP jacket~!!!!!!!

aaaaaaagh no money le xD

i went clubbing i also dont know how much i spent in the end
or how i managed to go home
or what the hell i did at liang court
all i know is..

THE WORLD WAS SO WOOZY~

-amanda

no more money for the holidays !!!

2006-12-06T00:23:00.000+08:00

so u see i was in fairytale land during the weekend
note the golden skies and the lush golden leaves and
my castle (humble abode) in the background
now head towards that elusive screen in front of u and hit urself if u sincerely believed
that i was in fairytale land
but lame stuff aside i was in town doing project and basically buying nothing

and yes i f0und this particular M&M funny cause he showed my exact feelings ... well as of week 8 which is this week and yes i so wish i could just go 'GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" and leap off
oh well =/

and yes i must take a shot of inane xmas decorations i mean singapore spend so much on the decor and on the electricity bill.. the least i could do is take a photo and blog about it....

and well tada. its odd so many companies having this black xmas campaign
dbs women's card has it..
and a couple more that i noticed but have forgotten
black xmas very cool meh. its like the anti-xmas

but there's amovie called black xmas coming out
and suffice to say
its not your typical holiday feel good movie =)

so anyways
as i mentioned earlier
its week 8!
and its half way through my last sem of year 2 !!!

AND I FOUND ANOTHER GUY TO OBSESS ON .sigh ~

channing tatum... ~
dont ask me why
i like his ..... lean...ness....
la la la
one must find nice things to obsess about

OH AND IW ENT SHOPPOING TODAY AFTER MEETING
had advert meeting that ended at 5. and it was raining cats dogs hamsters and penguins
BUT
MEL WANTED TO EAT
so we thought lets go IMM and eat sth there
and we said
""eat only ah, must save money we are broke"
so we cabbed down to IMM

and aaah we eat fish&co
WHICH IS QUITE BAD KAY CAUSE WE INTENDED TO EAT REALLY CHEAP FOOD
but anyway
we ended up shopping
U SEE
THIS IS BAD CAUSE NOW WE ARE BOTH BROKE
AND I REALLY ZERO MONEY MAN

sigh

but i finally got my ADIDAS JACKET THAT FITS ME AND THAT IS IN MY FAVOURITE WHITE AND RED AND THAT IS A SPORTS JACKET AND THAT IS LESS THAN HUNDRED
AND i just realised that sentence makes no sense....

BUT U GET THE IDEA ^^

so happy ~
and so sad =(

sigh
NO MORE SPENDING !!!!

-amanda

wheeeeeeeeeeee

2006-11-28T22:36:00.000+08:00

HELLO ^^
I FINALLY OPENED MY CAM CASE AFTER SO LONG

AND I SMELT CHLORINE =X
=(

anyways, so i used my cam. must test mah hor

and so here's the comic book or rather series that ive been reading
and yea. i think i'm the only one reading it around the ppl well that i know
annjie online DOES NOT COUNT

and in addition,
this is the korea series that mel 'forced' me to watch and which i ended up liking =X
fine la. give u credit xD

JOO JI HOON
i love you~

and OHH the below autograph was by KUN YI CHEN
she's a local artist
As in.. really the draw picture kind of artist!!!

and thats the card she signed behind.

ho ho hoh ohho

OH and i got my PDL after passing my FTT
TADAAAA
^^
first actual lesson on friday~

HA i obliqued my address (i think thats the right verb)
oh and i recently went on a CD buying spree
i bought this one cause it suonded nice in the store
and wehen i played it on my laptop
the sound completely ruined la

THIS CD NEEDS SENSE SURROUND SPEAKERS

ANYWAYS
i think life is really busy now for me
i got CLASS TML
and i feel so bad for PONNING SO MANY CLASSES =X

who cares la horrrr ~~~

-amanda

sigh and the weeks go by

2006-11-26T00:59:00.000+08:00

i just finished my feature 1 assignment and thought that i should update this page

sigh. i passed my FTT yesterday and so i got my PDL
starting driving lessons soon.

hmmm..
so much work to do ~
left about 3 weeks more to finish everything before the halfway break!

one year passes so fast =/

hmm. so much talk has been going on about you
yet u seem so oblivious yet not so oblivious to it
i dont know if you can sense it
but somehow i think u do
yet u dont wish to ask anyone
or say anything repentive

must we really all gang up and tell u before u face the truth ?

___________________________________________________-

hmm.. you (another you. not the above one =X)
seem so far away now
like i barely know you.
i guess its finally happened.

-amanda

2006-11-19T16:26:00.000+08:00

You take a while to fall in love with someone.
Trust takes time.You tend to take more than give in relationships.
You tend to get very attached when you're with someone.
You want to see your love all the time.
You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.
You are fickle and tend to fall out of love easily.
You bounce from romance to romance.

ANOTHER ONE OMG> =X

so sad =x

-amanda

2006-11-19T16:19:00.000+08:00

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.
In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.
You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.
Your ideal relationship is open.
Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality.
You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it.
In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime.
You're feeling self centered.

WAAAA that was a quiz i took by the way. =/
sigh. so sad =X

anyways, so much work to do!!!

1) MM group decision thing
2) featwriting masthead
3) advertising ppt
4) physics 2
5) socdev essay
6) music essay 1
7) something else that i cannot remember... =X

=(
i want go holiday!!!!

-amanda

im back im back

2006-11-17T00:31:00.000+08:00

wo hui lai le!

ho ho ho.

hmm. i passed my final theory eval. so book FTT le ^^
and... i watched STEP UP recently!
i used to think channing tatum looked a little stiff in 'she's the man'
but i think he's definitely better in this film..
but then again... he was acting with his gf...

ANYWAYS,
looney keeps goong-ing. to the point that i have to stop her from goonging cause she's neglecting advertising!!!
and she cant do that cause i'm her AD !!!
featwriting's okay..
so far so good.
other modules are okay.

there are so many things i want to do but so little time to accomplish

i have to watch a classical concert soon!
and i'm torn between taking up dance versus taking up self-defense
but my mom says wait til i'm more free
bleaghhhh ~~~~

OH OH george bush was in singapore.
and virtually every 'main' road in town was C L O S E D.
and cause of that i was caught at a jam at holland road.

i then told my dad,
its cause of bush. he cause traffic jams. then terrorist see so many jams then they can bomb
see.

=X

okayy~
hmm i'll update more next time!
i'm tired!

-amanda

2006-11-03T23:53:00.000+08:00

sigh

no my last post isnt suppposed to be taken for real~

i just had to post some fake info to get some free samples from online

anyways, ive passed my btt ^^

and well =/ school's been busy but i'm getting on okay =/

sigh

-amanda

i'm blessed ! with children !!!!

2006-10-30T01:16:00.000+08:00

i have a 3 year old daughter !

her name is Lenesia ~

she was born on the First of January, 2003.

and i'm expecting ~~~~

due to give birth ~ May 2007 !!!

isnt this nice ~

=)

anyways =) ii've finished my MM leadership assignment, and sexuality essay 2 !

now left scripting and swotting and researching !

next week's a busy week !!!

-amanda

sigh

2006-10-26T23:09:00.000+08:00

what an awful week so far

assignments have been assigned and released and explained and well.. basically its all up to us now.

richard's joining our group for featwg and we welcome him wholeheartedly.

hmmm its time to decide our attachment soon but i'm not quite sure what to choose

i feel like going for OIAP but i got night classes and i dont want to defer my studies.
so i think its IAP. but IBP sounds okay too =/

well. i'll try self-securing first before proceeding then i'll see how it goes.

ive finished my art essay ~
starting physics next week.
u know i find that i'm quite okay with maths so i was considering to enter investor relations.
hmmm...
i really dont know ^^

hmmm i so wish i could write a msg to this particular person i encountered on the street recently.
i really hope u stick ur head in the gutter and witness that all the rodents and what-nots are basically mirror images of urself and of ur kind
and that u should never judge a book by its cover or by its name because things are never that superficial. in fact its not a surprising fact that u are like that at all cause i had this nagging suspicion that u were always like that since birth
ur parents must have pissed off some gods to have deserved someone like u.

other matters...
today we learnt the visual mixer in tvproduction today. its a tad exhaustive because of the controls.
but its still manageable cause i took notes and i think some ppl know that when i commit stuff to writing it tends to get saved in some hard drive somewhere in my head.

hmm... kc's going to see s.h.e. tml at IMM. me bao and bing following him
and... hmm i think tml's a rest day before i really start my work

there's
1) MM leadership assignment due
2) tvprod scripting assignment
3) advert competitor analysis
4) sexuality essay 2 due
5) socedv
6) victimology

and ppl wonder why i dont have time for group projects..

hmm.. i dont mean that i dont give in my effort or that i dont do my parts. sometimes i overdo in fact
i'm taking a slightly slacker approach this sem cause i foresee that many ppl will haev sleepless nights
if i push ppl too hard during featwriting they will die in other modules.
i empathise with their situation =/ cause i know how it feels to rush work a day before a deadline and to still have ppl breathing down ur neck for an article or for something minor.

okay. how about this?

this sem i resolve to do my share and slightly more but never more to the extent that i die and commit suicide
and i resolve to try to be a good or rather reasonable accounts director and editor ?

hmm.... oh ya. in terms of driving my test is next week !
XD as in BTT.

hmm..... i think its time to utilise contacts this sem.

so all those ppl involved in creative arts etc. can expect a ... favour calling from me ~~!

-amanda

hmm... must go memorise.

bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2006-10-21T18:10:00.000+08:00

i guess i should blog =/

seeing as how everyone has at least ONE back to school post

and i have NONE ~

okay. so what's been happening since sch starteD?

well. firstly, its been a bad week in terms poly-school

why? cause the assignments have been assigned and the groupings have been grouped and I DONT LIKE BOTHHHHH

okay. save for SOME modules where i'm still with ppl i'm uh.... relatively close with
but well =/ "that's life"

degree wise, finsihed up the presentation.
driving wise, passed eval. so soon taking BTT.
uh....... =/

i feel like dying my hair ~
i want to semi-straighten and highlight shades of red ~
but looney say she wont stand near me if i do that !!!

oh. and lately so many ppl i know have been uh.... eating chocolates
u all will grow fat ~

and uh.........
=/ bahhhhhhhhhhh the week is that bad laaaa

wait til get better than i blog again ~

-amanda

update- down time...

2006-09-25T03:50:00.000+08:00

okay so last i blogged about my confusion and i think its half cleared up now ?
=/ at least i hope so.

saw the timetable. different class from looney for tvprod. that means 'new' as in potentially ppl ive never TALKED TO before. or rather like a certain b(*T(h ho asked me, "you in mass comm?" approx. 1 year into the course and she asked me that -.-

doesnt matter. i decided that i could not care less for Them. Them being a group of people that i've set aside in my heart and labeled "7R2$h'

thanks to those who showed concern over my confusion etc. its just something nice to know.

i visited my great grand ma in hospital today and found myself in an odd situation =/
she cant remember most of us since our family's so big and with every generation there comes multiples =/
its like geometric progression.
but i'm the oldest great grand child if i'm not wrong.

so anyways, she's in hospital cause of a tumour and its cancerous and the op's on wednesday so we visited her today
and throughout the entire visit i held hands with her
and yea she speaks hokkien and malay
i'm not really... fluent in hokkien
i understand but i cant speak it well
so i was just listening to what my relatives were talking about
as well as looking at my greatgrandma and just starting to think
i had wanted her to be able to see her greatgreatgrand children.
which means MY children or at least my brother's
since we're the closest to 'marrying' or rather 'childbirth' age =/

then it'll be 5 generations.
she's 90 this year.
and i really hope this op works well.
cause i sure want to be able to 'allow' a 5th generation

'work-wise'
ive been stagnant in my degree work =/
am having to finish history soon
tuition is okay =/
last session had only one student and he was okay to teach. gave no problems
bright kid.
found out the pay is 20 bucks an hour.

bao's going summer school again.
kc they all are gonna gay soon again.
school's starting soon ?
=/

i dont know what to say.

-amanda

so what am i supposed to do ?

2006-09-20T04:48:00.000+08:00

okay.
i'm getting a lot of signs all around =/

i cant say ive never been happier cause i haven been feeling happiness in the sense of the word.

i went out with 2 friends today.
and i felt alright.
distanced. cause i was thinking about what you said or rather felt.
but you didnt want to tell me.
it was only when i reached home that i knew what u were talking about.

i guess i cant say that i didnt expect it.
i sure did.
but not in that way.
And when i go to THE OTHER source =/
i have this whole different sign going along and i'm not sure what you're trying to say exactly.

but now i sit here thinking
what the hell do i want
or is it a matter of wanting what i already have, which is incidentally 'nothing'

i'm seeing 'chaos' happen in another area of my social circle
while all this while i ignored what was happening in MY own 'circle'
but now its blown a tad out of proportion no thanks to certain people who unknowingly knowingly decided to 'help' me with certain aspects of my life.

the question remains now

what am i to do?

i'm not wishing for anyone to tell me
cause i know that this is something i have to do on my own
but thats the thing =/
i'm in a state where i dont feel like making any major decision cause i felt that things were 'alright'
there was this balance that i achieved but i guess it wasnt.. properly balanced =/

so now the choice is ...
to 'go' or not to 'go'?
and yet the other choice is..
to 'go along' or not to 'go along'

i dont know if i want to be serious and 'settle down'
or to revert back to being 'wild' and just let go

somehow i think ive stopped being wild when i turned 18
maybe i'm into the more serious stuff now =/

i dont know.

-amanda

DID YOU KNOW....

2006-09-13T18:28:00.000+08:00

so i think its time i blogged =/
my com has been going crazy lately and its a little infuriating.
my live messenger is down and i cant restart my com cause of... something and so yea i'm out of the messenger world for a while
i downloaded IE 7 and forgot that its really buggy and yea its REALLY buggy. though it looks kinda nice and the fonts are way better =/
so i downloaded firefox and i use both explorers depending on my mood and of course the type of web i view.

in other 'news', i went back to WS recently and finally got back the money and mrs ang asked me to tuition foreign students. she says its either 10 or 20 bucks an hour. so yea i start this friday. the problem is i... dont know how to tuition english o.0
i mean for me its a real learn by yourself thing cause i find reading and stuff helps loads. but when it comes to teaching the technicalities of the subject its a tad oddd =/
and i hate it if the foreign students are... chinese mainlanders. not that i am prejudiced but assuming i have to or rather want to explain something to them and i have to do this in chinese.. well... XD
its kinda hard isnt it. though my mom said "just tell them, ENGLISH TUITION CANNOT SPEAK CHINESE" =x
i think i might just have to use that trick XD

degree-wise yea i started a new module, sexuality and the textbook is really fascinating cause there's info on other cultures and .. its quite startling what other cultures do.
for example there's this tribe in india that has kids indulging in sex since they are young. kids would leave their houses in the middle of the night and all converge at a certain forested area. there, they will engage in play (normal play) and just have fun. then they start pairing up and go to individual mats where the girls massage the guys. yea =/ and they are all at pre-puberty ages. then their head-mistress (who is 17 yrs old) will come along and pair everyone up again. you may or may not get the same partner u were massaging just now. then this new pairs head off to various corners where they.. make love. this time is also the time where the parents of these kids get to make love in the privacy of their own huts without the interference of their children. making love is very important to this tribe and hence the young age of sexual play. i kid u not this info is REAL !

other interesting info u might be... interested to know is that males can start having erections when they are mere fetuses. yea and males as young as 2 yrs old have been known to hve the ability to reach orgasm albeit without any fluid.

SEE THIS TEXTBOOK SO FASCINATING XD
and it comes with pictures. suffice to say that i had a bit of a problem stomaching the section of STIs or rather STDs. ><

in other degreee work.
ive finally completed history 3 and am halfway through history 4~
and there are a few more research papers to go through !!!!

what else did i do... uh... =/
hmm....

OH my swelling has gone down significantly though its still a tad uncomfortable to eat certain things as swallowing has become a slightly painful affair.

and i went to play mahjong yesterday with my mom. i won S$40 XD
WHICH IS GOOD cause every one else lost XD

MUAHAAHAHAH.
okay then.

back to work and i hope u guys are having a swell holiday too

-amanda

2006-09-10T04:36:00.000+08:00

okay so i think its time for another post.

i just completed my counselling exam ... uh.. yesterday and it was okay =/
i have to clear 5 history essays within the next 2 weeks ><

=(

i feel like doing something.. 'outrageous' soon =/

i want to go outtttt =x
but so many ppl - schooling and working XD

i'm... probably one of the last few bums left la ><

-amanda

BLEAGH.
XD

2006-08-19T12:12:00.000+08:00

XD

TADA. ZHU FAN GANG

wo de jacky ahh.... ><

i dont care if u ppl think he's not... all that good.

HE IS TO MEEE
XD

lalalalaaaa

he's fit, speaks english and mandarin, sings well, will take care of gf XD

WHY NOT OMG.,.... XD

and he's 9 years older than me ~~!~~!~!!~

PERFECT !!!!!

PR exam is over. XD

now left commissssssss

><

and i got to do degree work ~ cause i cant attend lessons the week after next. going for op le ><

i want to dotaaaaa but i keep dcing ><

kay laaa my fingernails a bit too long. hard to type.

-amanda

2006-08-14T02:20:00.000+08:00

so everything's finally over.
no more deadlines no more temperaments no more bloody dirty lookS

its time for rest and relaxation or in my case. work clearing time

its been a really tiring week

went to see the philips singapore cup
XD niceee

i have to go for my op soon.
probably after the 2 exams coming up =/

the hols are here and its a tad scary.
dont know what to do XD
u see, i dont work like most of the rest do.
i ... slack and be a bum. XD

bleaghh

blog more when i have... slept more or rather slept my fill.

-amanda

"at night i pray.
that soon ur face will fade away"

and then some

2006-08-01T02:26:00.000+08:00

ive lost all vision, of sight and hope
a culmination, things i cant cope
all i feel, bound by rope
one quick kill, one clean stroke.

so you see, ive started punctuating my entries using awfully odd poems that stem somewhere from the deep inner chambers of my brain.

or rather.. deep within the amygdala (wait.. that cant be right.)

so you see, ive become awfully relaxed, while knowing that hey deadlines are next week and ive not done nary a little bit =/

its an awfully pleasing feeling. =)

in other news, there are so many new music albums that i want to get but ... money is of an issue =(

and i want to go to so many concerts and events!

ive been wanting to change my blogskin but havvent had the time =/

i cant believe its been a year and half since leaving sec sch.
=/

time sure flies.
especially for me since i thinki have a slightly ehavier workload.

look. i know ive done some ppl wrong in the past
but that doesnt mean im unwilling to make up for it
i promise you, you and you, that i will change and have started to change
and i dont take matters of that kind as lightly as before
iappreciate it a hell lot that you still talk to me
and i hope youd give me this one last chance to show you that
im sincere this round.
i know some ppl have annoyed u to death
and i'm here to ... warn you about stuff sometimes.
here's hoping you regain faith in the stars above
cause they guided you once and i think they will again

and as for you, people who've i've neglected for one reason or another
i'm sorry that i couldnt catch up with u all cause ive been really busy
and i know its not fair that u make time for me while i cant do so
im trying to change and clear what i have on my platter.
and then i can finally enjoy my teen-hood before..it slips away

though ive said it a few times and.. well it's all come to naught.

bleaghhhhh

so its time to think, learn to conceal
the lies we've weaved, i cant reveal
we've lost the war, you broke the shield
i'll go away, in black and teal.

(okay so yae, my poetic license going ot be revoked any moment man)

-amanda

2006-07-31T02:45:00.000+08:00

and i'll pretend it never happened
cause then i'll know that this dependence
is not what it is, its not what its not
that you'll never be there, its all that i got.

so things have been a bit odd lately.

am i okay?

yea. i guess.

it starts to get odd when i refer to myself in third person.

there are so many things i want to see/watch i.e. sistic.

really.

i think its time i pampered myself.

concerts here i come =)

assignments... are due soon.

i'm lagging behind.

but i'll get it done. at least i think i will.

show no emotion. when things start to break.
its times like this that she starts to degrade
she'll drop no tear and show no smile
cause she has known its not worthwhile...

-amanda

2006-07-27T03:42:00.000+08:00

bleaghhhh..

i hate school now =(
maybe cause i dont really like the modules or cause i am reallly bad at the assignments ><

ive been shelving my degree work and its not good cause its ACCUMULATING again !!!

i'm a tad peeved at certain project's group ppl cause they expect the world of me but given the time that i HAVE i cant possibly give them what they want.

and it sucks big time kayy...

in other 'news'
ive been 'more normal' lately.

i.e. i think i finally have a life =/

i caught cabaret recently. fabooo. though it was a tad short.
good to invite normalcy into my life once every so often

but as usual its a mountain/truckload/heaps of work as usual.

lets do a list.

a) PR case study
b) PR final proj
c) webD journal
d) webD ezine
e) radio talkshow test
f) counselling assign 3
g) history assign 3
h) newspaper proj
i) commiss exam
j) pr exam
k) victim paper
l) socdev paper

bleaghhhh

been meeting and talking to ppl i havent met in a long time.

and ... well =/

i dont know.

i think i kinda got lost along the way again.

-amanda

2006-07-10T02:03:00.000+08:00

okay so its been fairly long since ilast posted.
am really sorry
caught up with politics a.k.a entertainment in poly as well as the usual deluge of assignments
so ive finally completed history 2 in like.. eons.
finished maths module.
finished rcg5
finished medkit
finished newswritng2.
its a whole load OFF my back
though i have new assignments/ modules now.
dammm =/

anyways,
here's a list of what i have to do! lists get me going. sortof =x

a) counselling assign1
b) vicitmology research
c) history 3
d) radio test -.-
e) webd ezine layout
f) I&E event
g) socdev research
h) rcg exam!

rather short. thankfully.

assignments are coming in soon enough though.
so much has been happening lately
but certain things are thankfully around to keep me sane.

thank you LOOOOONEYYYYY
and of course my family ><

-amanda

2006-06-28T02:45:00.000+08:00

sigh.

havent been blogging cause ive dreaded going near the laptop.
going near the laptop = work work and more work

and i cant resist the temptation to play games.
so its no laptop for me.

anyways, i have had to get some work done lately.
finished commiss the preparation part not the presentation part.
med kit?
its floating in the air for my portion of the project but mel has hers under control.
thank god for looney.

anyways, degree wise...
new module, victimology has started assignment is one major research paper same as socdev...
and monday i'm starting counseling..
i have really a lot of degree work and exams coming up and the poly deadlines arent helping.
on the bright side its only a month and a half of this shite before i can fully concentrate on degree
am REALLY wanting to clear the whole truckload and just.. GO OFF FOR HOLIDAY
lets just list out the stuff so that u will feel better and i will feel worse.

poly
1) PR medkit
2) webd journal
3) newswg field assignment 2 (i think i bombed field assign1. nevermind. i think i not cut out for it ><)
4) form groups for newswg and webd (yet another terror...)
5) I&E! my groupmates have been fabby so its still okay. event is up in week 12. posters NOT up yet but done already.
6) commiss individual paper.. i lost my symc notes..... ><
7) RADI OAGAIN. I HATE RADIO

degree
1) RCG 5 (DIE DIE MUST COMPLETE. EXAM COMING)
2) history 2. (MUST REALLY REALLY COMPLETE)
3) victimology research
4) socdev research
5) maths final exam this sat

and anyways, i'm planning to head back to sec sch to torture myself.
heh.

-.-

planning to revamp the damn neewsletter.
its ugly.
U G L Y

needs better arranging etc.

and anyways, might organise their prom.
thinking about it now its gonna be reallly really busy =/

check back to see if i turn out alive for newswg
-amanda

i appreciate it if you would...

2006-06-07T01:20:00.000+08:00

people.
dont bother me or message me (unless necessary)
over the next few days till... monday hits.

i need to clear all my assignments. really.

i've done my interview and ive done the pre-stuff
now's the time to get crackin.

i'm a third way through my journey
and its looking okay.

newswriting-wise ive had to make changes and its still a tad muddy

PR - done and submitted
now media kit's out.
and were given 2 weeks to do that. (sheesh)

radio test is up soon. not really preparing for that. a bit cannot be bothered ><

ive shelved my degree work til i clear poly work.
probably not a good idea but its essential i do it now.
my deadlines are all on friday
so i'm using sat and sun to clear degree work

yes i do know i have some obligations that need tending to. a.k.a i have to go OUT of home.
i'm hoping those stuff are really quick and in-out in a flash.

i really need to cram.
if i want to complete on time ^^

so people.
i'd appreciate it if you give me my uh.. dome-space now.

-amanda

2006-06-02T23:32:00.000+08:00

its been a while since i last blogged mainly cause i am tiring of my layout and want a fresh change but am toobusy/lazy to change it.

life has been uh... pretty rushed its one assignment followed by another. R E A L. rush

i'm falling sick.
eyes hurt real bad. head aches. voice is non-existent. pretty lethargic.

sigh, i shld go sleep real soon but i got to read those articles. tomorrow exam ><

work's due soon. someone remind me to do can =x
- history 2
- rcg 5
- webd journey
- newswriting
- PR press release
- commiss paper
- webd journal
- test

its been tough for me lately.
a lot of bad stuff going on.

this illness isnt helping. at all.

-amanda